A day in my office

12/25/08
Went to sleep at 2am and woke up at 9am, I remembered that I had to do this book chapter. Always very reluctant to go to office on weekends and holidays, but felt inefficient to work at home, I tried the apartment study room first. It was locked for maintenance reason (now I did remember that a note was passed to us earlier). I ended up driving to my office, and locking myself inside. The first two hours were quite productive, but the writing was disrupted after receiving the case list from my fellow. The remaining day was exhausted in collecting all the original data-it is so tedious, and might really give me Carpal tunnel syndrome as Dan joked. Rachel was on call, talking aloud to someone, I did not open the door to say hi.

I still can not talk to people about my marriage situation- to sound better, it is a private matter; for real, I am a coward. I remember one of my attendings in my residency said once that she would consider divorce as a stigma. It was a joke in her character though, but for me, if it is not a stigma, at least is a failure. After 8 year tempestuous try, nothing worked out, but it deepened the wound. His last conduct just slammed door shut, leaving no room for pry. Although it has so much uncertainty ahead, I hope this is a better bet than a life with certainty yet possible lifelong misery.