Trying to keep up in the downs

Into May, my worry for the house has caused several sleepless nights. Keep telling myself it is ok and it will fall through, but does not help at all. Calling home always brings my mood down. Mother is not doing well, getting weaker and weaker over time. I am frightened by thinking of how long she will be still there.

Feeling so out of control and so helpless, the only explanation making sense is being tested for endurance, and will be taken care in the end. I can only wish for a strong and resilient self, optimistic for unforeseen events. It can be really difficult to keep the spirit up, but just have to try harder. I tend to turn myself to work when I am depressed. It is something I can control, and in return, it brings peace and a sense of accomplishment to my life.


Yesterday was Mother’s day. Cynthia has become a huge comfort in my life, it makes Mother’s day so sweet. We had brunch at Café express, one of my favor restaurants. Sitting by the window and looking at people strolling in the early summer breeze, my heart was delighted. We had Danish blue cheese burger with fried sweet potato, chips with guacamole, really delicious. Later we went shopping, and each bought a dress for the summer. In the afternoon, after dropping her for the clarinet lesson, I ran. It was really humid, but I was so glad I did it.