A life gone too soon

I was involved in the care of an 18 yo girl, who had an aggressive form of lymphoma, recurred and developed fatal complication. She died on Sunday, a life gone so soon.

I visited her almost everyday during her 2-week hospitalization, I also took John and Cynthia there visit her. Her condition was temporally improved by high dose corticosteroid, and she was talking, eating and planning for future. Sweet and soft in nature, she rarely complained. Death never came cross her mind, she thought that she would be cured at this #1 cancer hospital in the world, and that she would go back to school in the fall. Saturday afternoon, I checked her labs, I knew she was close to her term. I talked to her mother, a tiny framed woman who speaks no English at all, that she had to be prepared for the worst. I went back to see the girl at 8pm after I got the Chinese bread one time she enjoyed so much, she had chills and not interested in the food at all. She tried to smile and said “good bye” to me by the time I left.

She died the next day around noon. It was heart-breaking to see her mom hugging and talking to her. Dad called from China and the phone was placed by her ear. It was hard to imagine what he said to her for farewell.

Mom told us later that the girl had a dream the night before death: she came to a beautiful garden, with evergreen grass. Two fairies handed apples to her, she woke up from sleep talking “don’t drop, don’t drop…”

Hope she is at a better place now, no suffering and no fear. Hope her mom find solace in the memory of her happy days and knowing that she is now being taken care by the upper beings.

Have I found it?

I was thinking last night after waking up in his arm, that i may have found the one.
I dreamed of having a man who truly understands me; however, in many years, i thought it was not possible.
He knows me so well: my frustration, sadness, joy, my mind and my heart...
I feel the click, at the deepest levels.
is this so called "soul mate"