Rabbit hole

John: Glad you enjoyed the movie. It seemed a bit depressing from what I saw of it - sort of a perfect example of the Buddhist notion of excessive attachment.

Me: I don't blame her for the "excessive" attachment. She tried, nothing worked: group therapy, God, friends, colleagues or families; even by erasing the markers of her son's existence. She eventually found solace in communicating with the teenage driver who killed her son. He described the parallel universe and "rabbit hole"-adventure in his comic book. it is a movie does not have much plot, but the quality of the story telling and acting make the pain of loss and struggle for out so tangible. we are human, we attach to things we love, and we struggle to get through darkness.

John: I don't blame her for her attachment either, it is certainly considered normal to have attachment like that in our society. But, it is this type of attachment that is the source of much of our unhappiness.

If we attach ourselves to our good looks, then we become lost when they fade. If we attach ourselves to the idea of being young, then we feel lost when we start to age. It is okay to love our friends and loved ones, but the notion of attachment is somewhat stronger than that. It suggests that we somehow define ourselves through that association and when we lose those loved ones, we have a hard time existing without them.

Personally, it would hurt really badly if I lost any of my kids and my grief might follow a similar path to what we saw in the movie. But, at least I would understand the nature of that grief.

Me: It is a way to teach yourself how to get out of unhappiness, i agree.
But, detachment can be a passive attitude. Most of the Buddhists choose to escape the conventional sense of life and into a world with no pain but also no joy