I have not had chance to write about the reunion-the real fun part of the trip, yet.
I was called by Wu, Zhongshi two days prior to the reunion and asked to speak in representing the female alumni in US. I was all excited, scrambled for something to impress my folks. I had hard time to write in Chinese while in US, but the words just came to me after being back for a little more than a week. On the train to Changsha, I composed a Chinese version of the English assay I wrote early. It expressed my feeling quite well, and made myself proud.
Nice to see all those old faces, could not match the names, a little embarrassed to ask at the beginning, but went easy later on. Very impressed by a guy who could still remember how I looked in the beginning of the college-shy with red cheeks, blushed when talking to guys. What a vivid picture of me in my 18! Most of the guys and gals were more or less the same in that age. Now in our 40’s, we are out of our shells, no longer timid, or uptight, but free and capable to enjoy ourselves. Joking, teasing, and laughing, we took things light and joyful. Drinking, singing and dancing-I later showed the photos to Cynthia, she commented “bunches of 40’s years old are having teenager parties” it says all.
Meeting Qingeng at the reunion did not bring me any special feeling. Oddly enough, we were like two people who got stuck at one place but could not find interesting topic to chat. Time has erased all the feeling and memories, and changed us so much. He became someone so uptight and, well, boring; yet I am more free-spirited. When I chatted with Guiying about how much he has changed; Guiying teased me that he must be surprised to see how a “good girl” turned wild. Well, what can I say? It was flattering to hear from several guys that they had crush on me in college. Why
I did not pick a right one from them?! It is very hard for me to like guys as an opposite sex, even in these days. Besides, they were so boyish in those years.I had a chat with a wise man in his 50’s, and was told that 40’s is the best phase in a woman’s life. He is absolutely right! In my teens, I basically disliked everything about myself-ugly; my hands and feet were too giant; my butt was too big; I was awkward, and my parents were embarrassing… In my 20’s, though acquired more confidence in myself, I had not learned to be true to myself, but been trying to do the “right” things. Got married, then pregnant, and came to US, everything following the “right” path. In my 30’s, I was pursuing my training and career, while raising Cynthia, joggling through a stressful life full of responsibilities. I was challenged, and gone beyond my dreams, but missed so much in life. My marriage died in those years, at least in part due to my negligence. Now in my 40’s, I feel better than ever- my girl is growing up, more of a friend than a child to me; career is going well; in shape, still decent looking but charmed with sexuality and maturity. Best of all, i am not trying to pretend someone I am not, can be true to myself. In Chinese saying "To establish in 30's; no confusion in 40's, and knowing God' meaning in 50's", great wisdom!
http://picasaweb.google.com/sawang2007/20thReunion#
